My sister and I just got our hair cut. She tried something slightly different, and found something that suited her face and her personality perfectly. As I looked from her to me, and to her again, I realized I was jealous of my little sister. At first I was disgusted with myself for being jealous, allowing something so hateful into my heart.Then I realized I wasn't jealous of her beautiful hair, I was jealous of the fact she had found something that fit her, body and soul. I realized I had been looking for something that fitted me in that way, unconsciously, for a long time now.
Now I wonder, have I found something that fits me without changing myself to fit it? I don't think that even makes sense.
Ahh.. I don't make sense. I wish I had a better hold on what makes me me, rather than just what I am. To have a better understanding of my own self.
I used to keep a regular diary. Wrote in it every day for years. About half a year ago, I just gradually stopped. I was pissed at myself, but I realized I didn't really want or need to fill in every day anymore.
ReplyDeleteIt helped a lot, and I guess it might help you too?
Also not stressing about it at all helps.
I still keep a regular diary :P
ReplyDelete